One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl, four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told.

Traditional

Here at Magpie Hill we are never short of Magpies. If I see only one, there is no need to fear – there is another hiding just out of sight. It’s sure to be along soon. I have found that life in general is very much like that too. Joy follows sorrow follows joy.

In 2019 I turned 40. Being as they are, nice round numbers, milestone birthdays always lend themselves to a spot of soul-searching. A good opportunity to take stock, to give thanks for the good things and perhaps make some changes to improve the bad. Be your own Oprah.

The thirties, for me, were a decade of feeling lost. Old enough to know better but not old enough to know much of anything at all. I felt lost in parenting and health issues. Lost in career crisis. It was painful but educational. 

I have learned that life isn’t a quest for happiness. ‘Happiness’ is an idea. It’s a feeling so fleeting that, much like anaesthesia, we don’t know we are experiencing it until the sensation has already passed. It is a wraith that leads us on a merry dance while we take a very long time to realise the terrible, wonderful truth. Life is just about, well, life. Lots and lots and lots of things happen. Lots of things have happened to me. Many of them have challenged everything I believe, everything I thought I was capable of, everything I have come to take for granted. In amongst those challenges, those frustrations, moments of tragedy and despair, in fact sometimes almost at one and the same time, are also some very very special moments. Moments of utter joy, of overwhelming gratitude, of love, of affirmation.

I have learned to marvel at every single one of these divine moments, even if they occur while something unbearable is happening at the very same time. Because they are what being truly alive is all about. Being able to feel, to be struck by awe, and to experience profound joy, even at the bedside of someone you love as they pass away, even when you feel in the deepest depths of darkness. 

I am so grateful for Every Single Day I have been granted on earth so far. The good and the bad. Every single one a perfect gift from my Heavenly Father to me. 

I wake up in the morning and I am in my home with my family. I love them so much it defies quantification. Life is very very hard at times. But it is also very very very VERY good.

I’ve turned the page. A new chapter has begun. But I have faith. I have so much love in my life. I can lace up my trainers and take a walk. I am truly blessed indeed.